Stickybuffalo.com

about fucking time:

you had me worried for a while there, johnny.

meanwhile, in the parallel universe inhabited by the clinton campaign…

NEW YORK (AP) — Democrat Hillary Rodham Clinton vowed to remain in the presidential race until the final primaries next month while her campaign built a case that she now leads in the popular vote if the disputed contests in Michigan and Florida are counted.
…
“You don’t walk off the court before the buzzer sounds,” Clinton said on CNN. “You never know, you might get a three-point shot at the end.”

you’ve got to admire the consistency of the clinton playbook. some overpaid consultant decided some time last year that hillary’s biggest obstacle to the nomination was not her high disapproval, her war vote, or her abrasive personality, but her gender. the only way americans will vote for a woman, someone decided, is if she’s swinging the biggest, hairiest pair of cast-iron cojones this side of vin diesel. and so, ladies and gentlemen, meet the whiskey-swigging, hardhat-wearing, iran-nuking, sports-metaphorizing mister hillary clinton — not just the first woman president, but the manliest since teddy roosevelt.

almost a year later, and god bless ‘em, they’re sticking with it. obama’s lead is — let’s just get used to saying it — insurmountable. clinton, displaying a truly bushlike, balls-over-brains contempt for mathematical reality itself, not only vows to stay the course, but manages to posit the situation as a basketball analogy. yet, not unlike john kerry hunting pheasants, there’s something unconvincing about hillary’s emulation of blue collar machismo. in this case, it’s a fundamental misunderstanding of the rules of basketball.

i’m not a sports guy, but i’ve watched enough basketball to know that the proverbial 3-pointer-at-the-buzzer is only decisive when the game is extremely close — like, within 3 points. as of this morning’s count, clinton needs 308 delegates to clinch the nomination, while obama only needs 137. there are only 189 pledged delegates still up for grabs in the remaining primaries. even if clinton were to win every single one of those delegates, she’d still be 119 short. in other words, she needs at least 72% of all remaining uncommitted delegates, pledged and super-. she doesn’t need a three-pointer, she needs several dozen of them, in the court-time equivalent of about thirty seconds.

it takes a latter-day iron balls mcginty to demand, as hillary is, that superdelegates should withhold their endorsements until after the last primary, when there’s no possible way its outcome could tilt the balance. i’d really like to think that she’s just stalling for a face-saving opportunity to bow out, but every time i want to give her credit for having a little class i’m disappointed. remember the texas debate, when clinton was “absolutely honored” to be sharing a podium with barack? and then, not 48 hours later in ohio, shouting “shame on you!” at the top of her lungs? by now i’m inclined to believe her when she says she means to stick it out to the bitter, bitter end.

we’re well past the point where there’s anything intelligent left to say about the clinton campaign, so i’ll just close out this post by free-associating some of the words that come to mind: pyrrhic. delusional. egomaniacal. quixotic. scorched-earth. sabotage. suicide pact. Greek tragedy.

and so on, it seems, ’til august…