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First, on a relatively-serious note, apparently I am not the only one fed up with Sherrod Brown’s tireless advocacy of polluting free-riders. The business-as-usual skeptics at 350.org have decided to call shenanigans on Sherrod, and hope to launch a campaign shaming him for an April vote to dilute Clean Air Act regulations.

Good. I’ve already kicked in a bit of cash, and I hope others will do so as well. You cannot be a friend to the lying delusional profiteers who run the coal industry and to progressive Democrats both. If we just go on giving Democrats a pass because the Republican alternative is always worse on some issues and never really better on any, what the fuck can we be said to actually stand for?

In his blog post, 350er Jamie Henn alleges a friend from Ohio expressing hesitancy, saying “I feel a little bit nervous funding an ad going after Sherrod.”

Well, get over it, Nellie.

Moving on to the category of farce…

I really hope that one of these months the reality that Osama bin Laden is actually dead will catch up to news media, and we can stop seeing and hearing his name everywhere. But, I have to acknowledge the reports of “revenge attacks” and threats of same, just because it’s so fucking silly that it’s actually entertaining.

I mean, I feel like Walter blowing up at the nihilists when they demand a ransom after their lack of a hostage became common knowledge.

Seriously, you al-kaseltzer guys: you’re offended because U.S. Navy Seals killed your figurehead? Who are the fucking terrorists here??!? You’ve already committed yourselves to war on the United States and our allies! What the fuck conceivable meaning is there in your swearing, now, to attack us? I thought that was your fucking plan anyway, dipshits! What, you were kind of half-assing it lately but now you’re really mad? You expect to send this message and then deliver credible threats? Again, you were already supposed to be an active terrorist organization committed to violent action against us; threatening violence does not afford you any further fucking leverage at this point!

“WHAT ARE YOU, A BUNCH OF FUCKING CRYBABIES?!”

Sheeeeeeeesh.

“And I don’t sit around just talking to experts because this is a college seminar, we talk to these folks because they potentially have the best answers, so I know whose ass to kick.”
- Barack Obama, 6/7/10

uh huh. i’m sure the boys in the BP boardroom are shitting their pants in terror even as we speak.

seriously, i like barack and all, but when has he ever kicked anyone’s ass? not counting little old ladies, that is.

speaking of which, how sick is it that this is apparently the only event of obama’s presidency about which the white house has been moved to muster any kind of real official outrage from the press secretary’s podium?

overstatement? let’s do a little exercise. here’s the official white house statement on the freedom flotilla raid last week:

“The president affirmed the importance of finding better ways to provide humanitarian assistance to the people of Gaza without undermining Israel’s security,” the statement said. “He underscored the importance of a comprehensive peace agreement which establishes an independent, contiguous and viable Palestinian state as the way to resolve the overall situation and the United States’ continuing commitment to achieving that goal by working closely with Turkey, Israel and others with a stake in a more stable and secure Middle East.”

ouch! remember, that torrent of blistering rhetoric came in response to the murder of 11 peace activists by israeli commandos aboard a humanitarian aid convoy in international waters. when pressed for a statement on the actual killings and how they were actually, kind of, maybe a little bit, wrong, the best robert gibbs could do was to quote a UN security council statement that “deeply regrets the loss of life and injuries resulting from the use of force”, and then point out that the united states is technically a security council member. so, y’know. next question?

now, let’s hear gibbs’s take on the ouster of the most senior member of the WH press corps, maybe the last and most respected practitioner of what was once called journalism, who in an unguarded moment as a private citizen last week said some shit that was admittedly over the top, regarding a situation in the middle east that is clearly way, way over the top:

“Those remarks were offensive and reprehensible,” Gibbs said today during a press briefing. Thomas was absent from the front row seat reserved for her in the White House press room.

“She should and has apologized,” Gibbs continued. “Obviously, those remarks do not reflect the opinion, I assume, of most of the people in here and certainly not of the administration.”

if you didn’t already know, thomas apparently lost her shit during an argument she didn’t intend to be public and said something to the effect that the israelis should just get the hell out of palestine. not a very nice, or a very thoughtful, thing to say. certainly a goof worthy of a public apology. maybe even bad enough to justify hounding her out of the profession dan rather style, ending a trailblazing career of half a century — obama himself thinks so, calling thomas’s forced retirement “the right decision.” but on the “offensive and reprehensible” scale, can we agree that it’s hardly on par with state terrorism? can we get a little motherfucking perspective up in here?

for the cherry on top of this sundae of shame, we go back to that same white house press briefing from last week on the flotilla massacre, in which the administration was taken to task by one ornery correspondent for its appalling nonchalance about the killings:

Q The — our initial reaction to this flotilla massacre, deliberate massacre, an international crime, was pitiful. What do you mean you regret when something should be so strongly condemned? And if any other nation in the world had done it, we would have been up in arms. What is the sacrosanct, iron-clad relationship where a country that deliberately kills people and boycotts — and we aid and abet the boycott?

MR. GIBBS: Look, I think the initial reaction regretted the loss of life as we tried and still continue to try to gather the relevant –

Q Regret won’t bring them back.

MR. GIBBS: Nothing can bring them back, Helen. We know that for sure because I think if you could, that wouldn’t be up for debate. We are — we believe that a credible and transparent investigation has to look into the facts. And as I said earlier, we’re open to international participation in that investigation.

Q Why did you think of it so late?

MR. GIBBS: Why did we think of –

Q Why didn’t you initially condemn it?

MR. GIBBS: Again, I think the statements that were released speak directly to that.

who was that uppity reporter, you ask? the only muckraking bastard in the room asking the relevant question? well, let’s just say it was one 89-year-old whose crap robert gibbs doesn’t have to put up with any more.

and if you’ve managed to keep your lunch down through this entire post, congratulations — there may be a job open for you in the white house press corps.