Stickybuffalo.com

No, this isn’t any kind of serious post, really. It’s actually a satirical post featuring some goofy ideas I had this morning about alternative logos for the Democrats.

This, I guess, is the party’s official logo:

I grabbed it from Wikipedia, at any rate; I dunno

Interestingly, this is rarely what media seem to use; I think the Democrats are far more often represented by some sort of donkey-shaped variant of the official GOP logo, as the BBC does here. I’m not exactly sure what the deal is with this; it may be that most Democrats aren’t either. America’s two leading political parties seem to be more like the Cleveland Browns, in terms of standardized graphic identity, than like major political parties in say, Canada, or Britain.

But in any event, the Democrats’ emblem is a donkey, in some form. I think that much, at least, is pretty well established. And admittedly, if I were setting out to indulge in a little embittered mockery of “my” party, suggesting that they be represented by a jackass would seemingly be quite sufficient, you’d think. (It continues to afford the GOP endless merriment, after all; thank you, Thomas Nast.) Sufficient, perhaps, but also boring. So in light of the Democrats’ latest in a string of craven climbdowns, I’ve decided to explore some other options just in case they might better represent the party of mush: (more…)

In the same “non-news” category as “oil still leaking,” “U.S. economic recovery still unconvincing,” and “corporate executives still douchebags,” let’s not forget to include “United States Senate still ‘unfit for purpose,’” as our British friends might express it.

I mean, mother FUCK, can I some day maybe not have to read headlines like “legislation defeated in Senate by MINUS SIXTEEN VOTE MARGIN?” Because it isn’t funny anymore. Not ironically, not as black humor. It’s just FUCKING RETARDED, and yes, I don’t care; it’s actually so appalling that I’m going to go ahead and use the word “retarded” because however bad it may be to do so, this is an order of magnitude WORSE.

But, of course, aside from the fact that some day I’ll be dead, long before then I’ll probably get a break from this farce… once Democrats are back in the minority in the Senate, and the filibuster goes back to being a purely hypothetical right that the GOP will threaten to take away should it ever be used, and that the Democrats will actually be chickenshit enough to forego, completely ignoring the fact that had they challenged the “nuclear option” threat back in, say, 2005, and actually put an end the fucking thing assuming that the GOP wasn’t just bluffing, then “my” party might have been able to actually PASS GODDAMN LEGISLATION during those few years when they had both the presidency and majorities in the House and Senate, and just might have been able to avoid the clobbering which is likely return the assholes to the majority party in the Senate in the first place and oh, fuck it.

so i do this thing sometimes, for perverse reasons i don’t fully understand, where i email spammers back. i doubt anybody ever reads them, but i get some jollies out of it.

i think this is the first time i’ve written one of these emails back to a list that i willingly signed up for.

stimulus:

from Mitch Stewart, BarackObama.com info@barackobama.com
reply-to info@barackobama.com
to josh@stickybuffalo.com
date Thu, Sep 10, 2009 at 11:05 AM
subject Now, it’s our turn

On Thu, Sep 10, 2009 at 11:05 AM, Mitch Stewart, BarackObama.com wrote:

>
> Joshua –
>
> Last night, President Obama called on our representatives to pass health reform that brings stability and security to Americans who have insurance, affordable coverage to those who don’t, and reins in the cost of care.
>
> Now, it’s our turn. After last night’s speech, members of Congress have no doubt about where the President stands. But to win this fight, we must show that Americans from every state and every background support his plan — and we need Congress to do the same.
>
> Click here to call your representatives, and then tell us how it went. According to our records, you live in Iowa’s 2nd congressional district. Please call:
>
> Sen. Chuck Grassley’s Cedar Rapids office at (319) 363-6832
> Sen. Tom Harkin’s Cedar Rapids office at (319) 365-4504
> Rep. Dave Loebsack’s Iowa City office at (319) 351-0789
>
>
> (Not your representatives? Click here to look yours up.)
>
> Call your representatives, and tell whoever answers where you are from and that you watched the President’s address.
>
> Then tell them that you want your representatives to support the President’s plan, ask them where they stand — and thank them if they already clearly support it.
>
> Don’t forget to click here to let us know what they said.
>
> Hundreds of thousands of folks will be calling, so please try again if you get a busy signal.
>
> This movement has brought us to a historic moment where reform is within reach. Now your energy and commitment are needed to get us the rest of the way.
>
> Please call today:
>
> http://my.barackobama.com/CongressCall
>
> Mitch
>
> Mitch Stewart
> Director
> Organizing for America
>
>Donate
>
>
> Paid for by Organizing for America, a project of the Democratic National Committee — 430 South Capitol Street SE, Washington, D.C. 20003. This communication is not authorized by any candidate or candidate’s committee.
>
> This email was sent to: josh@stickybuffalo.com
>
> To unsubscribe, go to: http://my.barackobama.com/unsubscribe

response:

From: josh@stickybuffalo.com
Date: Thu, Sep 10, 2009 at 12:39 PM
Subject: No, it’s still HIS turn
To: info@barackobama.com

Mitch,

You guys have some solid brass cojones on you. You follow up the defining capitulation of Obama’s first (only?) term by trying to rally the faithful, mindless beasts of burden that we are, once more unto the breach. For what? You just punted on the one proposal that had a snowball’s chance in hell of addressing the problem he so eloquently outlined last night, a proposal he campaigned and won on — which, by the way, still has broad majority support among the public, despite the summer’s barrage of insane demagoguery that you guys utterly failed to anticipate or respond to.

If the President isn’t willing to fight, or even put up the pretense of willingness to fight, for the public option, where does that leave us? Where does he get off asking “us” to sacrifice more time and energy to help America swallow whatever nuggets of “reform” might be coaxed from the suppurating, campaign-contribution-lubricated asshole of Max Baucus? Maybe if we work real hard we can get ourselves mandated into buying private insurance with no provision for making it affordable — that’s one big bowl of shit I can’t wait to dig into! I’ll be sure to call my congressman right away.

Brass fucking balls. If only you’d show the same testicular fortitude in confronting the insurance lobby and the shrieking idiots, instead of pissing on the people who worked to get you elected, maybe we’d get some real reform. Until that day comes, good luck with this turd of a presidency — I’m sitting out 2012.

Josh

P.S. My favorite touch is how you remembered to include the “Donate” link at the bottom of the email. You guys are friggin’ adorable! Sorry, I need that money to pay my exponentially increasing health insurance premiums.